


Of vampire fangs and werewolf smells

by Anna_banana



Category: Formula 1 RPF, What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Crack Fic, Daniel is a werewolf, Fantasy, Humour, Lando is a vampire, M/M, Vampires and werewolfs, and they flatshare, based on what we do in the shadows- movie/tv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:09:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24322552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anna_banana/pseuds/Anna_banana
Summary: Lando is a vampire. Daniel is a werewolf. Together, they have a flatshare.
Relationships: Kimi Räikkönen/Sebastian Vettel (mentioned), Lando Norris/Daniel Ricciardo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49





	Of vampire fangs and werewolf smells

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fgvbnnn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fgvbnnn/gifts).



> Based on the TV show/movie What we do in the shadows although you don't need to have seen it to read this.

“You’re doing a flat share with a werewolf?” Other vampires question him, baffled. “But surely he must stink up the place?”

Whenever vampires ask him this the first thing Lando does is tell them not to bring up the smell, it’s rude and Daniel doesn’t like it. The second thing he does, is tell them that he just keeps the windows open during the night. He’s a vampire after all, it’s not like he gets cold. 

Most of the undead don’t understand why a vampire and a werewolf would want to live together. Lando however, thinks it makes perfect sense.

The first thing people wonder about is the age gap, no not in that way. But yes, also in that way, Lando can’t help but think. Sure Daniel’s only in his 30’s and Lando is in his 200’s but really, age is just a number. Lando was transformed when he was only 20 and is much more up to date on the modern world than other vampires. He listens to modern music, plays video games and has an iPhone. The guy who transformed him on the other hand- Sebastian, just destroyed all of his vinyls and replaced them with CD’s because they are “happening”. His partner Kimi probably still has a gramophone, or hires live orchestras or something.

Admittedly, the less fun part about the age difference between vampires and a werewolf or human is the whole you know, dying thing. But, if neither Lando or Daniel are morbid people who dwell on that kind of thing then he doesn’t see why anyone else should be.

There’s actually one clear advantage to living with a werewolf. Werewolf’s are a lot more likely to have human jobs and human friends. While this doesn’t sound like much of an advantage, take a minute to think about it. People with human friends also have human enemies, they can walk around during the day time and you know, find some horrible people for Lando to snack on. What’s even better is around full moon time. Werewolves are always keen to find you some criminals or whoever to feed on because they don’t need fresh blood. Before the full moon Lando can drink his fill and then just dump the bodies for the werewolves to eat. Does it sound disgusting? Sure, but when you think about it, it makes sense. If the werewolves eat the bodies, then he doesn’t need to stress about discarding them. It kind of ruins the aesthetic of the house when you have a load of dried out bodies in the basement after all. Their flatshare works out well, so well in fact, that Lando decided he doesn’t even need a familiar to do all of his chores for him. They’re so annoying after all, always pestering you about when exactly you’re going to turn them into a vampire. The answer is never okay, never.

{}

While most vampires know that werewolves smell bad and know various bits of history involving lots of fights that explain why they hate each other so much, there’s one thing that very few vampires know. Werewolves actually taste even worse than they smell. Like way, way worse. There was one time where he and Dan, well… It’s quite self explanatory really. People always seem to want to hear it explained out loud anyway. 

Okay so they had been on a night out, Lando was drunk from drinking the blood of a guy who was absolutely plastered and Daniel was just, you know, normal drunk. When they got back to the house, they tumbled through the flat together, before ending up in Daniel’s room. Daniel will claim that he was carrying him there with his werewolf strength, Lando disagrees, saying that he was using his floating powers and just letting Daniel steer the direction. They were both rather drunk however so it really could have been either, or both. Anyway that’s really not the point of this story. The point is that they were making out and you know whatever, Lando decided to kiss Daniel’s neck, which is fine, he’d done that a bunch of times before. Unfortunately however he hadn’t done it before when so uncoordinated from a load of drunk blood. Forgetting where exactly his fangs are, he manages to break the skin. It’s just a little nick, in fact Daniel doesn’t even seem to notice it. Or well you know, he doesn’t seem to notice it until Lando recoils, frantically finding the waste bin in the bedroom to spit in. 

“What the fuck?” Daniel says, scrambling to a seated position on the bed. 

Lando doesn’t answer, worried he will throw up blood if he tries to speak. Instead, he sets off to the kitchen to try and find if he saved any bottled blood from his last house victim. 

Unsure what’s happening Daniel goes to follow him. It’s only when he passes the mirror that he realises what has happened.

“For fuck’s sake,” he mutters to himself. “That’s going to be a lot more difficult to explain than a regular hickey. 

He swipes at the cut for a moment, trying to wipe away the blood on his neck, before going to find Lando. When he sees the younger, or older man? He has calmed down considerably, although he still grimaces and sticks his tongue out occasionally between drinks of blood, as though the taste is refusing to leave his mouth.

“It can’t have been that bad,” Daniel says. It causes Lando to glare at him. 

“I swear your come isn’t that bad. It’s weird.”

“When was the last time I let your mouth go anywhere near my dick?” Daniel asks.

Lando takes a while to think about it. When he realises how little him going down on Daniel has happened, he goes to say something offended and angry about it. Before he can however, Daniel speaks once more.

“Look what you just accidentally did to my neck!” he exclaims. “Now that I don’t mind but I’m bloody grateful now that I haven’t been having your mouth anywhere more private.”

Lando glares at him, but finds it pretty impossible to argue with that logic. Most vampires are pretty good at sex, eventually, which you would hope so, considering they have an unlimited amount of time to practice. The advantage of being with another vampire however is that their fangs are always receded on the account of the lack of fresh blood around.

“You’re still going to put your mouth on me right?” Lando questions.

The bad taste has finally left his mouth, most of the alcohol has left his system and he’s not really in the mood for a fight. 

“Wherever you want it,” Daniel agrees, wiggling his tongue and eyebrows raising.

It’s more ridiculous than attractive but thoughts of exactly what he wants still race through Lando’s head. 

“Deal,” Lando says, as though he was ever going to say anything else.

Daniel laughs loudly and Lando decides to float them back to a bedroom. His own bedroom this time, there’s a lot less werewolf stink.

{}

“You flatshare with a werewolf?” Other vampires ask when they first meet him.

It doesn’t take long however, for one story or another to come up, and the whole flatshare thing begins to make a lot more sense. When other vampires get to know him, they quickly realise that there’s some things it’s better off not to know.

**Author's Note:**

> For a Lando/Dan prompt, this is probably not what you signed up for so apologies/ feel free to send me more prompts.  
> Tumblr is- bottasvaltteri


End file.
